Would You? sees our two bloggers debate either side of a wedding related issue. You can then vote for your opinion.
This week we’re looking at the tradition of the wedding registry!
Feel free to write in the comments who you agree with and any other thorny wedding issues you’d like us to tackle next!
Photo by Warmowski Photography
In the year 2016 it’s pretty safe to say that most modern couples live ‘in sin’ (as my dad likes to say) before their big day and over time you accrue all the usual bits and pieces that make a house a home. Just talk to my boyfriend about my obsession with throws… A registry helps your guests identify the gaps in your inventory so that you can make sure that every gift you’re given is put to good use.
Thanks to a selection of handy online tools, registries also help prevent duplication by letting guests know how many of something you need. For example you might have listed four candlesticks. Your registry will keep a tab on how many have been bought and let your guests know, eg. Candlesticks 2/4. This is useful so you don’t end up with two cuckoo clocks, four silver tea trays and seven sets of mismatched napkins!
While you may be fan of kitchen gadgets or Le Creuset cookware a wedding registry doesn’t just have to be homeware. You can include charitable donations, experiences, vouchers or honeymoon contributions so that guests who are deliberating between soap dishes can opt for a voucher instead and you can make your mind up yourself. Giving the option of a honeymoon contribution on your registry also allows guests to make their own decision about this slightly controversial donation.
Finally, registries mean your guests not having to worry about getting gifts to the wedding, or you worrying about how to get them back home afterwards! They all arrive together a couple of weeks after the wedding so just as the honeymoon glow is fading along comes a big box of presents. Perfect!
Design by Imaj Design
To help me answer this week’s Would You I turned to my engaged friend who I know has decided against a wedding day registry. She told me that the number one reason she and her fiancé decided to forgo the list is that they didn’t feel comfortable with the idea that a registry suggested an expectation of gifts. Particularly for those friends who are having to travel further to attend the day she said she would much rather have “presence than presents”!
This is an increasingly common phenomenon in modern weddings. With it now being relatively rare for UK couples to not cohabit pre-engagement it is likely that couples will have amassed all the kitchen-ware, crockery and bed linen that they need, and it is these items that make up the bulk of a traditional registry list!
She went on to say that since both she and her partner both study and work they have quite hectic lives and might not have given themselves enough time to actually think through what they wanted, resulting in a half-cooked registry that devalued anything that wasn’t listed!
Instead what they have settled on is a very open set of options for guests: they are welcome to bring a card and/or present, but equally they could ‘pay forward’ their gift instead make a charitable donation in the name of the bride and groom. To me this makes a lot of sense! Those guests who have a particular present in mind can still bring it along, with the added excitement that it will be a complete surprise for the couple, but it is not going to feel like a requirement of attendance!