This seems to be one of those topics that splits opinion right down the middle. On the one side you have the die-hard traditionals who dream of a candlelit, down-on-one-knee, heart-racing, surprise and who bolster themselves with the absolute assurance that they’ve found the person who knows them better than they know themselves and therefore Mr or Miss Right will be able to pick the ring of their dreams.
Now, I’m not knocking this as a theory, I myself have seen my closest friend from university (who I would always describe as ‘non-traditional’!) fall head over heels for her princess cut, solitaire white diamond ring – certainly not what I would have expected her to be wearing on her fourth finger! – and exclaim that it’s better than anything she could have selected. But, I can’t imagine many things more gut-wrenching than having him open up that little box and not liking what you see!
Photo by Robert and Kathleen Photographers
Maybe that’s why I (much to my surprise I assure you!) find myself erring on the side of those who think that it is a good idea to include themselves in the shopping trip for the ultimate sparkly accessory – let’s be honest, it is you who is going to have to wear it for the rest of your life!
My parents did it this way; Dad proposed, Mum agreed and they then went off pick the ring together. It seems much simpler. Just because your man has great taste in picking the right woman does not mean he’s going to have the same stroke of brilliance when it comes to jewellery. I’m sure Dad would have ended up with something beautiful (he does have a very snappy collection of statement ties which can only be a promising sign!) but he would have doubtless agonised over the decision, adding even more stress to the whole proposal situation. Even now, after 30 years of marriage, he employs one of his three daughters to assist with all things jewellery when it comes round to Mum’s birthday.
Photo from Natalie Barney Jewellery
Obviously there is an element of this that will completely depend on your partner being comfortable with you tagging along, you don’t want to go offending him by suggesting you don’t trust him to make the decision. But, honestly, I know plenty of boys who would welcome the assistance! Rest assured, if you and your partner tackle the shops together you are going to leave with a ring you are truly happy with. The only negative that I can think of is that there may be a period of a few days where you are engaged but don’t have the sparkle to prove it, but surely there’s a temporary solution for that – Haribo anyone?